in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
