she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
