All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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