Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
