Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
