You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
