i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
