For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I still have a little drunk in my system
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
