the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
