It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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