ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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