Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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