Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
