True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
