you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
