when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
