no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The feeling are messing with the penis
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
