he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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