hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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