Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
