It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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