i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
