She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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