shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
