He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
