I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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