sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
