All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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