I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize