idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
