I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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