is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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