We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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