Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
