I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
