Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
