your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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