Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
