if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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