We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
