Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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