dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
