Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
