he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
