i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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