I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
