The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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