We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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