I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
