What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
