New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
