dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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