So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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