Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
