I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
