White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
