I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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