her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just high enough for therapy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
