Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
