I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
