She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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