But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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