You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
