she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
sex in a hospital.. check
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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