He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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